I don't know about you, but I love the name Laramie. I even love the name Lara. No one else really liked it, except Jason, but hey, I went through the labor, so I don't think he cared one way or another what we named her. But I know he liked her name.
Laramie reminds me of everything good, sweet sloppy kisses, bust your guts laughing, and anything pink. Sometimes, if I close my eyes, and take a really deep breath, I can still smell her. She used to smell soooo good, kind of like a baby smell, but with a hint of girl, and the smell of a smile. If you could smell a pink sunshiney smile, she would be it.
Sometimes when the kids do something dumb, like trip and fall on their faces, I can still hear her laugh out loud. She used to love that.
Hell, she loved anything. If you just sat down and paid attention to her, she loved you. She liked men alot, she was such a little flirt.
Sometimes, I just wish I could have seen her normal, and a half-grown 16. I wonder, would she fight with Cheyenne, or would they get along great? Would she give me a hard time about doing the dishes? Would she think her little brothers were a pain, or would she be proud of them? Would she and Cheyenne gang up on me and think they know everything like 16 and 17 yr. old sisters do??
The thing I wonder about most, is what would she look like?? Or maybe who? Maybe she'd look more like me than Jason, or would it be the other way around? Maybe she'd look more like one of her brothers, they say she and Cole resemble each other. I'll wonder forever I guess.
The thing is, she taught our family sooo much about what really matters in life, and about handling pain gracefully, and just about living in general that I should be more grateful to God for the short time we had her.
Who knows what we would be like if we had never known her, and never gone through all her pain with her.
We do however know, she's better off than all of us, and we just can't wait to see her again.
We love you Laramie.