Translation: they are eating me out of house and home while they plague me with questions about when things were made and who made them just so I'd look it up for them on the computer.
I thought I finally had them writing and doing their "thing" when I happened upon a blog. It all started with "A Holy Experience",(http://www.aholyexperience.com/) where I went to see where Ann Voskamp is going to be speaking next. From there I jumped to the "Relevant conference". I checked out the speakers, ended up at Dayspring's website, drooling none the less.
That led me to happen upon Lisa Leonard Designs Blog.
Everything was going well. I read her first post.I even clicked on her video. It was, well, downhill in a good way from there.
I was already feeling like the worst mother in the whole world (still in my pj's but couldn't pull myself away from my laptop). My daughter had stomped off earlier after not talking to me over a laundry mishap. I said I was sorry. My kitchen table is full of....stuff. The living room needs dusting and vacuuming. The laundry that is taking over my hallway, and life, well, it's not pretty.
I started watching Lisa's video of her and her son at the beach. It's beautiful. I start crying, my 16 yr. old is wondering what the heck I'm watching, and leans over to see it. He's the only one in the house tuned in to my feelings at this point. I'm trying to hide behind my screen because I know, I just know if I let myself think about her, I'll lose it completely. It will be flood waters from here on out.
She would be 18.....I got it wrong in church on Sunday. I said she'd be 17. That hit me hard because I never want to forget her. It felt like I did. Like I slipped somewhere, and forgot. I want to remember everything, but just once in awhile, because if I start remembering all the time, and to the fullest, it hurts so much that I don't think I can take it. Everyone says it gets easier with time.
It just gets more frantic to not forget, then to try to not remember all at once and too much. THEN it really just hurts, like a punch to the heart.
I was just punched. But it's okay, sometimes that happens, and once you've been punched, you start to heal all over again.
And maybe a bit more healing occurs every time.
Then my 10 yr. old pipes up and asks "Mom, are these gluten free?" And I realize he's talking about candy hearts.
My world just started revolving again.
I need to go get dressed now and wash my face.
Here's the link to Lisa Leonard's "Happy Place" http://www.lisaleonardonline.com/blog/
By the way, her jewlery is amazing.